Copyright © E. R. Hann 2026

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Chapter One

 

It was stupid to think my past was behind me. I wish that thought had crossed my mind the first time I saw Gabbie at Motto School’s orientation day. It was the beginning of the school year, and my new job as an English teacher, with the staff clustered outside the short, white school building. Pink cherry blossom petals lined the dark asphalt of the street in the glaring sun of that spring morning. 

Gabbie shielded her eyes to look at Victor, the school’s owner, as he addressed us, and I noticed she had braces, though she had to be around the same age I was. I couldn’t tear my eyes from her, even though I was supposed to be listening to Victor, too, and told myself it was because I hadn’t seen a new, especially non-Japanese, face around here in a while. It had been over a year since I’d moved back home to Japan from Canada. Gabbie was pretty; I decided that before I’d even learned her name. She was petite, lithe, with freckle-dotted skin, eyes rimmed in dark makeup, and a cape of long, curly hair. Tiny braids pulled her hair off her forehead. And those braces, enveloped by full, rose-pink lips. 

“Now,” Victor clapped his hands together. “Let’s all get acquainted. We have two new teachers joining us.” He turned toward me. “Tobio Hamada, a local and recent grad from Handai.” 

I smiled and did my best to make eye contact with the other staff members who clapped politely for me. 

“And Gabriela Sanchez, from the USA.” Victor turned to her, arm extended. 

“Just Gabbie is fine,” she said. Her voice was light and sweet.

“Gabbie. That will certainly be easier for the Japanese speakers to pronounce,” Victor said. 

She caught my eye and smiled. I sent it back. 

Victor introduced us to the other teacher, Sandy, and the office administrator, Miho. “We can take a tour of the building now, then head out to hanami for lunch.”

The school was small, and it took less than thirty minutes to show us every room inside. I walked between Victor and Sandy to a park down the street from Motto English School. They had both moved to Japan decades ago from America, and they regaled me with the many jobs they’d held before Victor started Motto School. 

“Sandy and I were discussing which class to give you,” Victor said. He was a middle-aged Peruvian-American with glasses. “You’re so young, the kids and even the students your age might be too much. But then the older adults might struggle to respect you as their teacher.” 

I glanced between him and Sandy. “The kids are too much?” 

Middle school was when I had begun eikaiwa, or English cram school, after my regular classes. I couldn’t remember exactly how the class had been, but I had loved learning English immediately, so I hadn’t caused any trouble. But now that I thought about it, there were a number of incidents during my regular school days that probably left my teachers frustrated or angry. At that age, I had never imagined becoming a teacher myself, so my teachers’ experiences hadn’t crossed my mind until now. I wondered how much of the inner workings of the student body the teachers knew about at that time. 

“I want to try both,” I declared after consideration. 

Victor and Sandy looked at me with surprise. 

“I want an adult class and a children's class,” I told them. 

Victor smiled. “All right, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. The kids have me tuckered out after wrangling them for hours.”

We had wandered into the centre of the park, cherry blossom petals drifting like snow through the air to the gutters. Groups of friends huddled under the trees for flower viewing, and mothers with kids played nearby. Our school administrator spread a blanket out on the grass once we picked a spot. I moved over to let others sit first, removing my shoes, and found myself next to Gabbie.

“Sorry, is there a washroom nearby?” Gabbie asked.

I glanced at her but she was asking Victor for advice.

“It’s that pink building over there.” Victor pointed. 

“Thanks.” Gabbie trotted off. 

I stretched out my legs on the blanket and put my hand on the spot next to me to stop someone else from taking it. The administrator revealed drinks she’d brought for everyone in a plastic bag. The staff wasn’t large, a handful of us teachers and a couple of people on the administration side. 

“So, you lived in Toronto?” Victor prompted me.

I nodded, cracking open the black and yellow can of seltzer I’d been handed. Lemon-scented carbonation tickled my nostrils as I took a swig. 

“I went to school there for a year,” I said after I’d swallowed my first gulp. “I finished university here in Osaka, though.”

“I’ve never been there, but Toronto must have been a big shock compared to this place,” Victor said. Takaishi is a tiny city on Osaka Bay, but it feels like a small village sometimes with plenty of home-grown shops and restaurants and the same faces popping up everywhere I go. My neighbours had known our family for years. We knew everyone on our street by name. So someone new in town, especially a foreigner, was practically headline news. 

My mouth split into a grin. “Oh yeah. But Toronto was like a small town compared to Tokyo. I’ve always lived in Takaishi. Both my parents were born in Osaka. But I’m glad I went there, I’m sure it helped me land this job.”

“It sure did. Your English was stellar on your application.” Victor popped a chocolate-covered biscuit into his mouth and leaned back on his hands. “It’s interesting, huh? All the differences and similarities throughout the world.”

“Where are you from originally?” I asked Victor, though Gabbie drew my gaze emerging from the park washroom.

I heard Victor’s answer somewhat distantly. I didn’t think she could see me watching her from a distance, so I shamelessly let my eyes follow her path toward our group. But she was stopped on her way, and my heart halted at the same time. A group of guys had called out to her as she passed, not in an aggressive way, a friendly enough greeting, but my hackles were up. The guys were my age, mostly wearing black, and I don’t know how I didn’t see him before, but I recognized the one eyeing Gabbie intensely.

Yuya. 

It was all I could do to keep my tailbone glued to the ground. 

“Everything okay over there?” Victor noticed my gaze and turned to see what had my attention. “Are those some hooligans?” 

“No, I think she’s fine,” I muttered, not breaking my gaze.

The guys bowed with their heads, sending her on her way, and Gabbie gave them a little bow then headed up the path once again. That was the moment Yuya turned his hard gaze to me. Even though he was at least fifty feet away, I could tell his eyes were boring into me. Staring me down. He recognized me too.

Crap.

I broke the staring contest first, dropping my gaze to my lap so I wouldn’t have to explain to Victor. Gabbie returned to her seat next to me, slightly out of breath.

“They weren’t giving you a hard time, were they?” Victor’s eyebrows came together.

“Oh, no.” Gabbie flipped his concern away with one hand. “They asked if I was new here and introduced themselves.” 

She met my eyes briefly. I nodded and tried to force myself to smile. 

“Everyone has been so nice so far,” Gabbie went on, but her voice began to fade into the background.

I couldn’t focus anymore with the feeling of Yuya’s eyes on me. I hadn’t seen him in so long, I'd really thought that the past was behind us. When I finally hazarded a glance up, Yuya was still staring at me. He let his gaze linger long enough on me, then on Gabbie, to clearly communicate he noticed the two of us sitting together, then finally looked away. 

A sigh escaped my chest before I could stop it. 

“You tired, Tobio?” Victor questioned. “This hanami isn’t mandatory if you need to take off. We’ll continue training tomorrow.” 

I shook my head. “No, no. I’m fine. I’ll stick around.” 

I turned to engage Gabbie and the others in conversation. “So, what did you major in? Was it Gabbie?”

She nodded, exposing her cute braces in a small smile. “Early childhood development, actually, so I’m excited to get more teaching experience here.”

“What brought you to Japan? Anything in particular?” Sandy asked.

“My friend studied abroad during college, so I started looking into it. She wasn’t in Japan, but I found some videos online from people who had moved here from the States. It looked so pretty and the culture interested me, and I found out I could qualify.” 

I nodded enthusiastically at her praise for my home country. 

“I’m not that close with my parents,” Gabbie went on. “But they still tried to convince me to stay.” 

Victor abruptly broke into Spanish, addressing solely Gabbie. She perked up at that and fired back in rapid Spanish. They both burst into laughter, and I glanced at Sandy while we chuckled awkwardly along. I lifted my can to my mouth to drink again. 

“I’ve been wanting to start a Spanish class at Motto School,” Victor said in English again. “It would make so much sense with you here if you don’t mind teaching that too.” 

“I would love to,” Gabbie said, eyes sparkling. A rush of cherry blossom petals fell around us with a gust of wind and a few caught in her curls. 

***

I went to bed that night with my phone in hand, trying to find Gabbie’s social media but with no luck. She likely had a boyfriend back home, since she was such a cute girl, but I would have to confirm that in a more direct way. Then I remembered Yuya. I searched for him but all I found was his tattoo portfolio, which explained why I had never seen him around Handai, my university in Osaka, or even heard down the grapevine from other classmates if he had gone to school anywhere else. But if he had a girlfriend currently, then maybe I wouldn’t have to worry about him. I hadn’t even thought about him when returning to Takaishi since it had been years since high school and the chance that he had moved away was high. 

Sighing again, I closed Instagram and fell asleep in the middle of looking up Spanish study resources. Maybe I could add a third language to my roster. 

We arrived at the school early in the morning, me right before Gabbie. I could hear other staff moving around upstairs before Gabbie entered through the front door. I had just changed shoes and she remembered from the day before our custom of changing into indoor footwear. 

“Good morning,” I said as she came through the door and sat on the edge of the genkan to remove her sneakers. 

She greeted me too and moved over to the shelf of shoes to pick a pair. I waited for her so we could enter the school together. Today she wore a business casual outfit, grey slacks with a red collared shirt, and her mass of hair pulled back into a ponytail. 

“I guess we go upstairs from here,” she said, having found a pair of shoes her size. 

I climbed the stairs slowly, hoping she’d match my pace and we could talk for a minute. “Did you do a work placement before you graduated?”

“At a pre-school, yeah. It wasn’t much teaching, mostly making sure the kids didn’t pull furniture down on top of themselves, but it was super fun. How about you? Is this your first time teaching?” 

“Yeah.” I let a note of nervousness enter my voice. “I got this job because I already learned English, but I’m not sure what to expect. My degree is in sports science. I went to eikaiwa as a kid, but I didn’t consider becoming a teacher until I saw the opening here. I can walk or bike here from home, so hopefully this job is a good fit.” 

“I’m sure you’ll be great.” Gabbie flashed me her braces as we reached the top of the stairs. 

“I think so too,” Victor said as he exited ‌his office. “Did you guys bring stuff to take notes?”

We both nodded. 

“All right,” Victor said. “Tobio, you can go with me today, and Gabbie, you can shadow Sandy for the day.” 

That smarted a bit. I wouldn’t see Gabbie again for a while. I followed Victor into a classroom, and he began to show me what he’d prepare for the incoming class of adult students. The morning passed fairly quickly and his students were welcoming and curious about me, helping me relax. I might actually be good at this teaching thing. 

We convened in Victor’s office again for lunch, I pulled out my bento that Mom had sent to work with me and Victor revealed the one his wife had made for him. 

Sandy and Gabbie entered a few moments after we did, Gabbie coming up short upon seeing our packed lunches. 

“I didn’t think to bring something,” Gabbie said, going slightly pale.

“No worries,” Sandy said, striding to her bag in a corner. “My husband is a caterer. He packed me extra food to share with the newbies.” 

“No way.” I couldn’t stop myself from lighting up. Mom’s bento was nice but I always had room for more. 

Sandy removed a large container and set it before us on Victor’s desk, then passed a set of disposable chopsticks to Gabbie. 

“It’s just leftovers from his work yesterday. Don’t need to get too excited.”

We dug into noodle stir fry and sushi with cries of thanks. 

“There aren’t really any restaurants close by,” Sandy advised Gabbie. “But there’s a grocery store a block away if you need to grab something to eat in the future.” 

Gabbie paled again, looking fearful.

“Don’t worry, I can show you,” Sandy reassured her.

After eating and chatting for a few minutes, Sandy got up to print off things she needed for her class, and Victor stood to start the coffee maker. He was still in the room, but a silence fell over Gabbie and me at the desk. 

“Where are you staying? Near here?” I ventured after an awkward beat.

Gabbie nodded. “Victor secured an apartment for me before I ever left the States. I can walk here, too,” she said, recalling our conversation from this morning. 

“That’s convenient. Have you learned any Japanese?” 

Gabbie wrinkled her nose adorably. “I’ve tried a little bit, but it’s really hard for me to stop doing the rolled Spanish Rs sometimes.” 

“I can help you sometime if you want,” I offered, maybe too quickly. 

“See, a natural teacher,” Victor said, returning to the desk and clapping me on the shoulder. “Sandy and I speak Japanese too, but if you can learn from a native speaker like Tobio, then that would be best.” 

“Maybe we can do a language exchange if you’re interested in Spanish.” Gabbie smiled at me, and my heart jumped into my throat. 

“Absolutely.”

 

Chapter Two

 

The rest of the week passed quickly, and I dropped into bed exhausted each night. I had started teaching my own classes after a day of shadowing Victor. My hands shook when I stood alone in front of a group of middle schoolers so I gripped the English textbook hard. The lesson was already set, I just had to guide the class through it. I had been a little worried that my written English was rusty after spending the last year at university here in Japan, but my year abroad in Canada was serving me better now than I had ever expected. And using English to talk to the other staff at Motto made me feel a little nostalgic and miss my friends from Toronto.  

Once I got the lesson moving, the kids were easy to keep focused. We even finished the work before the end of class, so we played hangman on the dry-erase board, English words only, which caused some mayhem but I think I managed to get their homework assigned before they spilled out of the room haphazardly like a pile of kittens. 

The adult class was a little more intimidating; all of my students were much older than me. They wore serious faces as they stared me down but after I explained that I was Japanese and had learned English while living in Canada, they appeared to soften. Some of the adult students were there because they were interested in learning, and others were there because their bosses forced them to learn English for work. With the adults, the more I smiled and gave encouragement while helping them one-on-one, the more they seemed to enjoy the lesson. 

On Friday evening, Victor suggested we go for drinks to celebrate finishing our first week as teachers. Gabbie agreed first.

 I leaned over to whisper to her, “Good call. In my culture, you can’t decline an invitation from your boss.” 

Gabbie gave me a hesitant, questioning smile.

“Oh, no,” Victor chuckled. “No obligation from me. If you’re tired, I understand. But why not cut loose for a bit? You deserve it. You guys worked hard this week and you got out of your comfort zone.”

Sandy and the school administrator, Miho, joined us in the office and we headed down the street to a bar. The sun was still setting, and it felt a little weird to head into a bar before it was fully dark. Music already thudded from the dark brick façade. Victor hurried to the door to hold it open for everyone. I nodded to him in thanks as I passed and entered the dimly lit bar. Neon signs hung on the walls. The smell of spilled alcohol and cologne met me as my eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness. There were a few groups of people and loners here and there throughout the bar, but it was early for it to be busy. 

I sensed Gabbie walking slowly behind me, so I headed toward the bar, the idea of buying her a drink already in my head. I placed one elbow on the shiny black bar, waiting for the bartender to come over, and casually turned to my left as if surprised to see Gabbie there. 

“What are you drinking? It’s on me,” I offered, hoping my blush didn’t show in the neon light. 

Gabbie scanned the chalkboard menu on the wall behind the bar, written in both Japanese and English. 

“Nah, I’m buying you both your first drinks of the night.” Victor sauntered up behind us, slapping bills on the bar. 

I forced a grin at him. “Really? Arigatou, boss.” 

Gabbie asked him for a rum and Coke, and I picked a Sapporo beer, then Victor ordered for us in Japanese when the tattooed female bartender approached. 

“Hey, where’s my drink?” Sandy demanded from behind us. 

Victor pretended to grumble and reached for his wallet. Once all our drinks were served, Victor led us in a toast by lifting his beer up. 

“To your amazing first week as amazing teachers!”

We raised our glasses and clinked them together.

“Kanpai!” 

“How long did it take you to learn Japanese?” Gabbie asked Victor after we had all drunk.

Victor led us away from the bar to a table as he spoke. “About a year. After I’d lasted about six months here, I started to take learning the language more seriously and studied kanji. I’m still learning new vocabulary all the time, but it took about a year to be conversational.” 

“Wow, that’s impressive,” Gabbie said.

“I’m sure Sandy was even faster than that.” Victor gestured with his drink at her.

Sandy smiled wryly. “I came here for university, so I was actively studying the day after I landed.” 

“Speaking of studying,” Victor said. “We should discuss adding a Spanish class to the schedule.”

Gabbie nodded eagerly. They went back and forth a few times with suggestions before settling on a Friday afternoon class they could teach together.

“Aw,” I lamented. “I have to teach during that time.” 

“Sorry, buddy.” Victor lifted a shoulder. “You want to learn Spanish that badly, huh?” 

I didn’t answer before Gabbie cut in, though her soft voice was difficult to catch through the J-rock blasting from nearby speakers. “It’s okay. We’re going to do a language exchange, right? Tobio will help me learn Japanese.” 

I nodded, fighting off beaming. “I’ll put together something for your first lesson.” 

Victor launched into a story. “That reminds me of a time when I was teaching in Peru…” 

I had learned earlier in the week that Victor was the type of person who could rope you into an extracurricular conversation for a minimum of one hour, which I didn’t mind at all, except that the ladies, including Gabbie, had gotten up at some point to get more drinks and wander. 

“…I woke up to a dog licking my face. Then I had to hobble back down the mountain with the remnants of my thrashed bicycle. Anyway, I’m going to get another beer. You want one?” Victor moved to stand. 

“Sure.” I made to get up too. “I’m just going to visit the little teacher’s room.”

The bar had filled up with more patrons as we’d talked, and I had to weave between groups of people to get to the washrooms at the back. The men’s room was empty, so I took a moment to assess my appearance in the mirror. I unbuttoned the top two buttons of my shirt, rolled up the sleeves to my elbows, and attempted to mess with my hair, decided it looked ridiculous, and smoothed it back into its normal place. 

Upon exiting the washroom, I scanned the bar for my colleagues. Gabbie stood at the bar, but her head was turned toward a man engaged in conversation. My stomach dropped, then turned sick as the man's head angled to the side and I realized it was him—Yuya. I had to catch myself from spinning right back around and hiding in the washroom.

Why was he here again? First, the park the other day, and now less than a week later, he was back. He must work or live nearby, though I wouldn’t put it past him to follow me. It wouldn’t be the first time. Jackass.

I steeled myself, then started a controlled walk that probably looked stiff and not at all casual, making my way over to the bar, coming to a stop on the other side of Gabbie. Heat rose from my collar up my neck. I rested my hands on the bar, staring straight ahead and trying to catch their conversation over the loud music. Gabbie was unintelligible but I could distantly hear Yuya’s deep voice.

“Anyway, thanks for your number. I’ll be texting you later.”

I saw him shake his phone out of the corner of my eye, and thought his narrow eyes slid over to me before he backed away and disappeared into the crowd. 

“All right, thanks for the drink,” Gabbie called after him, loud enough that I heard her that time. 

“You’ve only been here a week and already getting picked up by the locals,” I said, bitterness in my tone. My neck immediately began to burn and I regretted even opening my mouth. 

Gabbie looked at me with slight surprise. “I don’t think so, he wants to learn English.” 

“Sure.” I sent her a dubious look and bit back what I really wanted to say. To warn her that Yuya was bad news, nothing but scum. But I had already been too forward. She might never find out that I had a past with Yuya if I was careful. 

I finished my next drink and took my leave from the party without running into him again, walking home alone, a little buzzed. My parents were already asleep so I snuck into the shower, then bath, and stayed submerged in the deep tub for way too long, fuming while imagining fictional fights between Yuya and I and how I would tell him exactly what I thought of him. Even though she was pretty and perfectly likeable, I doubted Yuya would have even noticed Gabbie if he hadn’t seen me with her first. 

Gabbie approached the school the next Monday from the opposite direction I did. She waved to me from afar and dropped her eyes shyly. It was a bit awkward that we spotted each other from too far down the street to be in earshot but I took the opportunity to admire her outfit for the day: a gauzy, ruffled top with a tweed brown skirt. She clutched her lesson items in a tote bag under her arm. Her hair was half up, the rest blowing gently in the warm spring breeze.

“Hi, Tobi,” she said once we were close enough to each other. 

The nickname made my heart flutter. 

“Good morning,” I answered and opened the school door for her. 

“I thought we could start our language exchange lesson this Friday after our classes if you’re free?” Gabbie prompted once we had changed footwear and headed upstairs. 

“Sounds good,” I answered, flashing a grin at her. I couldn’t wait.

I prepared for work on Friday morning with extra care, shaving the sparse hair on my upper lip, spraying cologne on my chest and messing with my hair for longer than usual. 

“What is that smell?” Mom asked when I came downstairs. 

“Is it bad?” I paused. 

She sniffed again. “It’s strong.”

She handed me a bento box while giving me an up-and-down look. 

“I’ll be staying a bit late at work tonight,” I said, and took the bento from her, stuffing it into my backpack and running to the door. 

The clock ticked in slow motion through my classes. My students’ mistakes and inane questions prickled me today, which they usually didn’t. Finally, the hands on the clock approached five, so I stood to instruct my middle school students to start packing up. And they better get out on time. No stragglers allowed this evening. 

 

Chapter Three

 

I left my empty classroom and headed into the hall, spotting Gabbie ‌between the streams of students. She caught my gaze and smiled, then waited for me outside the classroom closest to the stairs. She wore my favourite outfit of hers; a purple and pink blouse with a white pencil skirt and white pumps on her small feet. 

“I like your shirt,” I said, after deciding that I love when you wear that outfit would sound creepy. 

“Thank you.” She looked down at it like she had to remember what she had put on this morning. “I had to check out the fashions of Japan, I couldn’t help myself.”

Victor blustered by at that moment. “Hey, I will join you guys in two minutes.” 

My stomach dropped. I had forgotten Victor would be joining us. Gabbie and I headed into the classroom and sat down at two desks near the door. I sighed, all excitement for this language exchange gone. 

“So you want to learn Spanish, huh?” Gabbie opened a notebook then looked up at me. “Any particular reason?” 

I panicked. Because of your hazel eyes would be something a creep would say. Or a guy much more suave than I, I could never be sure. “I’m getting bored with English,” I said lamely. “Learning a language is good for your brain, isn’t it?”

“I think I’ve heard that.”

I kept my eyes firmly on her as Victor entered and noisily took the seat next to me.

“Gabs, did you come up with a plan already?” he asked.

I bristled at the nickname for no logical reason. Victor was married and had at least twenty years on us. 

“I wrote some notes,” Gabbie said. “We should start with the basics.” 

I opened my notebook, too, realizing I hadn’t put in the same effort she had. 

“Self-introduction first makes sense,” Victor said. 

They showed me how to say my name is Tobio in Spanish, with Victor barking pronunciation tips at me, and I had to say it several times to their liking before I could show Gabbie the equivalent in my language. 

Just as I was getting fed up with Victor’s interruptions, his phone chimed on the desk. 

“Oops, I got to take care of something,” he said after checking the notification. He stood to leave. “You guys feel free to continue.” 

I turned to Gabbie, brightening. 

***

The next Friday, Victor didn’t join us, having said earlier in the week that he was too busy to join our language exchange sessions. And I could not be more glad for that.

I found Gabbie in the classroom, wearing my favourite outfit again, and I wondered if she wore it because I had complimented her or if she was in the habit of wearing it on Fridays. 

“Have you been practising?” Gabbie prompted as I sat down in front of her.

“Every chance I get,” I said. That may be slightly exaggerated, but I had practised throughout the week. I didn’t want to let her down. 

“Great! Me too,” Gabbie said. “I don’t think my pronunciation is getting any better, though.” 

“I’m sure it is.” I smiled at her. Her eyes were sparkly even in the unflattering fluorescent lighting of the school and her cheeks pink. 

Her phone vibrated, and after she retrieved it, she typed into it quickly and put it back in her tote bag.

“Do you have to go?” I asked.

“It was that guy with the tattoos from the bar, remember him? He wanted info about taking a class.”

Yuya. I don’t know how the fact that he’d already gotten her number had slipped my mind these past couple of weeks. 

“Oh.” I nodded, wondering how much they had been texting or calling. 

We finished up our exchange, both able to say our professions and hobbies in each other’s languages, and met with Victor leaving his office. He introduced us to his wife, who was waiting for him outside with their black and white French bulldog on a leash. 

“It’s already dark, so I’ll walk you home,” I offered to Gabbie after the others had taken off. 

She looked up at me, surprised. She was so short that if I pulled her in for a hug, her cheek would rest against my chest. The perfect height to tuck under my chin for a cuddle. 

“You don’t have to,” she said. “I thought Japan was safe compared to the US.” 

“It is, in general,” I admitted. Especially small city Takaishi. I broadcasted a smile. “It’s only the gentlemanly thing to do.”

She smiled back. “Well, it’s not that far, so if you insist…”

We began to walk down the street, chatting casually, while I tried to think of subtle ways to pry about Yuya without being too obvious. 

“So what have you been doing outside of work, aside from shopping?” I asked when there was a break in the conversation.

“Not that much,” Gabbie admitted. “I got lost once trying to get to Osaka City from here. And I feel like getting stuff for my apartment, groceries and meal prepping takes up a lot of time. Work tires me out too.” She let out a sigh of exhaustion.

“I guess there’s not much in English around here,” I realized. It hadn’t occurred to me before that foreigners might have a harder time getting around Takaishi than a big city like Tokyo. 

“I tried asking the station attendant for help when I got lost on the trains, but he didn’t speak much English,” she said. “I’m kind of afraid to venture too far now until I work on my Japanese skills more.”

“Well, I’m happy to help you with that,” I said. “I can show you around town sometime if you want.”

Her eyes excavated my face, as if searching for a hidden meaning there. I forced my expression more, hoping it looked friendly and neutral. 

“That’s nice of you,” she said, her step pulling up. “Well, this is my building.” 

I tore my gaze from her to the sky-blue building lit by overhead security lights and gathering moths. The evenings had been warming up since we’d started our jobs at Motto, soon it would be a sweltering, humid summer. 

When students were on holiday in July and August, I could take Gabbie to the beach on Osaka Bay, buy us matching bathing suits beforehand, and we’d eat salted watermelon together. My stomach did a flop as I looked down at her, mentally redressing her in a lavender bikini. 

“Thanks for walking me, Tobi,” she said, her voice puncturing and deflating my fantasy. “Have a good weekend.” 

“Anytime,” I responded. “See you next week.”

With that, Gabbie turned and walked into her building without hesitation. I turned around toward my house, doubling back in the direction we’d come, feeling like I had somehow missed something.

I spent the weekend mostly hanging out with my mom, following her around the home goods store while my thoughts drifted to Gabbie and lamenting that most of my old friends had moved away, were still in school, or I’d lost touch with them while I was in Canada. A good two hours were wasted on Sunday while I looked up everyone I used to hang out with on Instagram to see what they were up to. That was after Mom had forced me to whack dust from our blankets and futons on the patio, then hang them outside in the fresh spring air. 

Disappointed I didn’t run into Gabbie on my way into work, I trotted upstairs alone and peeked around the corner to see who was already in and found her and Victor in his office. I dropped some of my stuff there after greeting them. The American girl looked nervous and keyed up.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, glancing between the two. 

“Nothing,” Gabbie said. “Victor was just telling me Yuya might join us today.”

“Huh,” I made a neutral noise but my stomach soured. No, please, no. 

My classes passed frenetically. I had to force my focus on my students as my mind kept wandering to an image of Yuya sneaking around the building and leering over Gabbie’s shoulder. When the last class finally ended, I scanned the crowd of black-haired heads flooding the hallway and spotted his pointy head nearly immediately. He turned slightly to catch me in the corner of his eye, like he knew I was watching. 

At least he wasn’t in my class, I tried to tell myself, but that meant he’d likely joined Gabbie’s adult class. I thought of offering to walk her home again tonight, even though it was still light out, but Yuya got to her first. She smiled up at him at the bottleneck to the stairs as they chatted, but I couldn’t hear what they said. 

“See ya, Gabs,” I called loudly as I approached them.

“Oh, bye, Tobi!” she answered, making me a little glad Yuya heard it, though he would likely be walking her home soon, if he had any sense. 

I heaved a sigh as I slowly made my way downstairs behind the crowd and made my exit from work, alone. 

The next evening, I snagged Gabbie on our way out of work. No way Yuya could be there every day so I had to take my openings when he wasn’t stealing from me. We walked unhurriedly from Motto as the sun set.

“Sorry if this is too personal, but you said when we started working here you’re not that close with your parents. Have you been talking to them at all? Are you getting homesick?” I asked after some small talk.

“I talked to them a couple times,” she said distantly. “I’m not really homesick, but… I do miss my family’s food. I couldn’t find much of the stuff I’m used to eating at the grocery store down the street. Back home in New Mexico, my aunt and grandmother live across the street from us, so we usually eat dinner all together. My parents worked a lot, and when my mom is not at work she usually wants to be with her family at their house. I guess that’s why we’ve grown apart. My grandparents are originally from Mexico, and they want us all to be together like they say we would if we lived there. I didn’t always want to hang out with everyone every day after school or work. As a teenager, I wanted to be with my friends, or sometimes I just needed some peace and quiet, you know? My family wasn’t always happy about that. They take it personally if I don’t want to come over.”

“I see…” I turned over in my mind what she had opened up about. “They must still miss you and worry about you, though.” 

She stayed silent, and I went on, “I had the opposite experience.” I chuckled. “Both my parents are only children and I’m their only child so I’ve never had big family events. I had to seek out friends when I was growing up or I’d be lonely.” 

 “Wow,” Gabbie marvelled. “I could have used some of that.”

I had touched on my childhood, so I could segue into my past with Yuya, if I really wanted to, but it seemed too late to broach that now. I had already let Gabbie assume I’d never met him, let alone…

“Um, did you see that new guy you’d mentioned?” I feigned ignorance.

“Yes, he was in my class yesterday.” 

Exactly as I'd thought. The conversation fell stale for a moment. Hiding my thoughts was a new sensation; the girls we had fought over back in school had known about both of us. There was no need to pretend we hadn’t developed a rivalry after a while. I was sure our cohort talked about us behind our backs until all the girls at school avoided ‌both of us by our last year of high school. 

I dropped Gabbie off at her building and turned around to go home, deep in memories of the last confrontation I’d had with Yuya before we’d graduated. Yuya had once again stolen my girlfriend from me, after I had admittedly stolen his the year before, and I had run after him in a blind rage one day after school. 

I threw a punch at his head, but he turned and sidestepped me with ease just as I stumbled, a grin on his face that boiled my blood. He and I were like opposite sides of a chessboard. I often thought about what my life would have been like if we’d never met. I was well-liked, with plenty of friends, and on the school’s soccer and baseball teams. Fujiwara Yuya, my antithesis, the thorn in my side. He was the king of the outcasts at school. His circle consisted of other boys who skipped class and smoked cigarettes at the bus stop. I was surprised he’d even graduated, hoping at the start of every year that I wouldn’t see him because he’d finally given up and dropped out.

Once I regained my footing, I squared up to him, my chest bumping against his as I snorted like a bull. He still wore that same stupid smirk. 

“This is the last time you'll mess with me,” I panted, using the derogatory form of you, temee. “We will never see each other again once the school year is over.” 

“You’ll be lucky if you make it out of here with your face in one piece,” he retorted. 

I could sense a crowd gathering around us. I didn’t know if my ex-girlfriend was part of it as the edges of my vision blurred, but I didn’t care about that anymore. 

Yuya’s cigarette-scented breath assaulted my face. His hands snapped up and he shoved me forcefully away by my shoulders. I stumbled again. He was surprisingly strong for a thin guy. Noises rose ‌from the crowd. 

“Let’s call it here. High school is almost over.” I was still breathing hard. I had already received my conditional acceptance letter from Handai, but if I flunked my exams or, worse, got expelled for fighting, that letter would turn into a rejection. 

I stretched out my hand to him, hating him every second. He looked down as if it were a rat crawling up his leg. 

“Come on, dude,” I gritted out. “I’m sorry I swung at you.” 

His eyes flicked back up to mine, and he swung his hand out, slapping it into mine too hard, taking hold and yanking me closer to him. He squeezed, and I imagined smashing my forehead into his teeth with all the force in my body. I was used to butting a soccer ball with my head, Yuya’s face couldn’t be that much harder. But the threat of expulsion and ruining my entire future kept me in check. 

“It’s over,” Yuya hissed his agreement and relinquished my hand. 

We backed up a few steps and our respective friend groups rushed in to flank‌ both of us. 

“You did the right thing, bro, you handled it,” my friend, Shunsuke, assured me, though I still had my eye on Yuya in case he made a dive for me. Shun and a couple other friends had stuck by me through my idiotic behaviour since middle school, so they would be relieved now that we could finally move on.

I graduated and started college, commuting every day on the train. Once I'd heard through the grapevine that Yuya hadn’t gone to college at all, I relaxed and enjoyed school. My year studying in Canada was even better. I didn’t think about Yuya for a long stretch of time and I could talk to people and go on dates without looking over my shoulder. 

Why had I stayed in Takaishi after I finished my degree? I should have moved as far away as possible, like Gabbie had. I had been reassured by a few good years, confident the past was long behind me. 

The truth is that I love my parents. When I lived in Canada, I knew I was coming back soon, but the idea of starting my career and potentially living long-term somewhere like Tokyo physically hurt me. Going months without my mom’s cooking or watching the game with Dad on weekends. I couldn’t let that scumbag Yuya take more of my happiness away from me. 

 

Chapter Four

 

"I was wondering if you have plans tonight after work?" I had to make myself ask before I lost courage. It was the week after Yuya had joined our school and I needed to act on an idea I had before he sunk his teeth deeper into her.

Gabbie gave me a glance-over. "Not really, why?"

"I found something you might be interested in."

She sent me a searching smile.

"I'll see you at the end of the day?" I backed up a step, leaving the question open-ended as students flooded past me.

I met her outside her classroom after six.

"Shall we?" I gestured with my messenger bag toward the stairs.

"Where are we going?" Gabbie asked with a hesitant grin.

"Not far. Let me surprise you, please?" I tried not to sound petulant.

Gabbie glanced left and right before answering me. "Fine. Let's go."

We trotted down the stairs together and changed into our outdoor footwear.

"This way," I said, turning away from the school and toward the direction of the train station. The sun had started to lower in the sky.

"Where are we going?" she prompted again.

"It's not far," I assured her.

"Are you kidnapping me?"

"Nah, I'd be an obvious suspect. I'd never get away with it." I grinned. 

She guffawed and relaxed into a pace matched with mine. 

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked after a moment of relaxed quiet. "You seem connected to your culture, and it's important to you, yet you're not close with your family, the people who gave you that." 

"I guess I haven't thought that much about it. At least in that way." She looked at the ground in thought. "I find comfort and beauty in learning about our history and traditions through a wide lens. But from my parents, it comes with their prejudices and their... aggressive way of speaking that I simply don't like. If you were born in another country, maybe you'd be more interested in learning about your background by going there instead of just getting it secondhand from your parents."

"Huh.” I chewed on that. "But you didn't move to Mexico, you came here."

"True, I think it's all connected though. Didn't living in Canada make you realize some things about Japan?"

I nodded. "Pretty much every day until I got used to it there."

"I get the impression that introverts are very accepted here. Everyone has to be quiet on ‌trains and elevators. It’s good to blend in here, but it doesn’t always feel that way in the States. My parents aren't ones to blend in. They're extroverted, especially my mom and aunt together. We don't get each other, and it's hard."

"You want your mom to accept you more for who you are?"

"Yes," she answered quietly. "Are we leaving Takaishi?" she asked, seeing I had stopped in front of the station.

"Only a few stops over, won't take long," I reassured her and bounced up the steps. I walked briskly to the ticket machine to buy hers. "Here you go." I handed her the little white rectangle.

"You didn't have to do that," she said. "I have a transit card."

"I know, but it's only right, since I invited you out." 

Our conversation was cut off for a moment when we passed through the gate, and the train pulled in immediately, as if I had called it. The car was still crowded from rush hour. 

After a few stops, as I'd promised, I said, "This way," and we disembarked at Sakai Station. "I have to check the way on my phone, sorry, not trying to be rude." I pulled up the place on Google Maps, angling my phone so she couldn't see the screen. 

"My surprise is somewhere you've never been?" she demanded. 

Her perceptiveness startled me into a stutter. "I—no one said that. Follow me."

I resisted the urge to grab her hand and drag her after me, the tension building to see her reaction.

We crossed the street in front of the station and turned down an admittedly sketchy alley. Onto another street, we passed ramen restaurants and bars until my phone vibrated.

"Here we are," I opened my arms in front of La Villa Latina grocery store, a beige front with a blue and white sign and a Mexican flag stretched across the inside of the barred window. 

 Gabbie stepped back to take in the whole storefront. "Oh, Tobi," she said breathlessly, her hand briefly landing on my forearm before she stepped forward into the shop.

A young guy greeted us in two languages, he looked half-Japanese and half-Mexican.

I grabbed a basket from the entryway and followed Gabbie, who seemed to be in a daze. She drifted down the first aisle, stacked with handmade tortillas, specialty cheeses, hot sauces, and foreign, prepackaged snacks I’d never seen before. She began to drop items into the basket as if she hardly noticed I was holding it: corn flour, dried chiles, plastic bottles of seasonings.

The place was too small for carts, I lamented, as the basket grew heavier until finally she declared she was ready to check out. 

She and the clerk exchanged a quick conversation in Spanish, and he prepared a cardboard takeout container of varied hot foods from a glass-covered display.

Gabbie paid and I grabbed the plastic bags. 

We headed down the street for a minute until we came across a tiny park.

"Can we stop here? I want to eat now, while it's still hot." She held up the cardboard container growing grease spots on its side.

We parked the heavy bags under a bench and I eagerly watched Gabbie open the box, realizing then how hungry I was. 

"Try this, it's an empanada." She held up the pastry in a napkin a few inches from my chin. 

I leaned forward with a blush to take a bite. 

"Wow," I muttered around the melting hot morsel of deliciousness. "That is amazing."

I grabbed something else from the box without waiting for her to feed it to me. "This is some of the best food I've ever had, I'm serious."

She popped an empanada in her own mouth and chewed. "Thank you for doing this for me," she said once her mouth was no longer full.

"I know food is one of the things that can make you feel the most homesick."

“How did you find out about this place?”

“I saw their flyer at the grocery store in Takaishi. You didn’t see it?”

"I don’t know how I missed it. Tobi … is this a date?"

My heart halted in my chest. I glanced at her to find she was brazenly examining my face. And neck. Hair. Shoulders.

"Uh, if you want it to be," I answered slowly, my face warming further. My heart fluttered. Did Gabbie like me back? She wasn't already dating Yuya like I'd feared?

"Are teachers allowed to date each other at Motto?"

"I don't know." That hadn't occurred to me. Would our jobs be on the line if this was a real date? "Victor seems cool, right? It's probably fine."

Gabbie nodded thoughtfully. "Well, thank you for this. My lunches for work will be a lot more exciting."

"I hope I can steal a bite." 

I carried the bags back to the station and savoured the moments we had to wait on the platform for the train to arrive. 

“I’m walking you home. Don’t argue,” I said as soon as we exited Takaishi Station. Darkness had fallen over the city by then. Gabbie stuck close to me as we strolled away from the downtown core toward her apartment building. 

“So, the new guy in your class. How is it going?” I asked about Yuya, trying and failing again to be subtle.

“Fine, I think,” she answered, guarded. 

“Just fine?” 

She shook her head briefly. “I’m questioning his motivations for learning English, or even for joining my class. But I guess it’s not my business. If he’s my student, I need to help him learn, no matter what.”

“Nah, it makes sense. Knowing their motivations will help you customize your teaching approach, right? That means you’re good at your job,” I said.

Gabbie sent me a small smile then glanced away again. 

“But,” I went on, trying to pick up on her meaning. “If he doesn’t actually want to learn, that makes your job so much harder.”

“Right.”

The following silence allowed my nerves to get to me. “Is that why you asked if tonight was a date?”

“Honestly, yes. The both of you feel rather nebulous to me,” she admitted, and her abrupt honesty stunned me into silence. “I wanted to know where we stand.”

“Let’s take it one day at a time,” I said, trying to imbue my words with a friendly, inviting tone then immediately regretting them. “I mean, I do like you,” I blurted out.

Gabbie laughed softly. “I like you, too.”

We had arrived at her building door. She stopped and turned to look me in the eye. This would have been a perfect moment to lean down and kiss her, but kissing on the first date was corny and way too bold. I needed to rein in my feelings and take it one day at a time, like I’d said. And we still didn’t know if our workplace would be okay with any of this.

“Thank you for the date. If it was a date.” Gabbie took the grocery bags from my hand, brushing fingertips against my skin. She turned and left me once again speechless at the door.

***

The next day at work, I was thrumming with both nerves and excitement to see Gabbie, but I ended up running into Victor first.

“Is there a workplace policy handbook for Motto?” I asked after we’d exchanged morning greetings. 

“I didn’t send that to you guys?” Victor shook his head at his forgetfulness. “It’s probably outdated but I’ll find the file somewhere…” he grumbled as he began swiping through his phone. “Any particular reason you're asking?”

I couldn’t very well say I was wondering if employees were allowed to date each other. “Just wondering if there’s a dress code for the summer coming up,” I finally managed. “I could have asked that, I guess.”

“Oh, it’s cool biz here,” Victor said, using the Japanese slang for exceptions to usual suit jackets and long sleeves in the sweltering, humid summer months. “No worries about short sleeves.”

“Good to know, it’s going to be warm tomorrow,” I said offhand and made to leave like I had to get to my class.

I ate lunch alone later, and checked my mail on my phone. Victor indeed had sent me a document on workplace guidelines. The introduction to Motto School and its principles read in Victor’s voice, but the rest, a generic guide on dress code and attendance, seemed like something he had copied and pasted from the internet. I scanned the document ‌a second time to confirm there was nothing there about workplace romance. I couldn’t wait to tell Gabbie later and ask her out on an official date.

At the end of my workday, I saw the last of my students out of the room and headed into the hallway myself. I spotted Gabbie right away, gazing up at a tall guy, a pained look on her face. The guy, I should have known immediately, was Yuya. Seeing her expression, I wanted to run to her and elbow him out of the way. Instead, I approached slowly, and her face changed from pained to a sort of sad smile. Yuya nodded to her and left before he registered my presence. 

“Everything all right?” I asked her.

“It’s fine,” she said, her face still slightly cloudy. 

“You know, if a student is acting inappropriately, you don’t have to put up with it,” I said hastily. 

“No, no. Nothing like that.” She glanced around. “I‘ll tell you later.”

“I have something to tell you, too,” I said, my interest piqued. 

“Will you walk me home?” 

I had to once again rein in my over-enthusiastic response that would come with a knight in shining armour whipping his cape over his shoulder. “Sure thing,” I replied like a perfectly normal person. 

I waited a moment while she grabbed the rest of her things and the last of the students filed out. We headed downstairs and changed footwear in silence while I tried to decide on the perfect place to take her for our next date. 

“Good news,” I said once the door had swung shut behind us. “There’s absolutely no rule forbidding our date last night.” 

“About that,” she said with far less enthusiasm than I wanted or expected. “I guess Yuya is upset with me now.”

I caught myself from stumbling. “Why?”

“I need to confess that I met up with Yuya outside of school but I didn’t know he meant it as a date,” she said in a rush.

 “How do you not know these things?” I said in an asshole way and almost regretted it, but I was annoyed now. I thought I had gotten ahead of him, but Yuya was screwing up my life again.

“I don’t know. I’m an idiot,” she said, then seemed to catch herself. She looked at me accusingly. “But you didn’t say last night was a date until I did. This is why I said I had to clarify where I stood with you. Because I went out with him and I didn’t know, but I suspected he was hitting on me, or heading in that direction.”

I sighed and looked toward the setting sun as we climbed the gentle hill toward her place. “I’m sorry. I have no right to talk to you like that.” 

We walked a little further without speaking.

 “Now what?” I finally said. I wanted to ask which one of us do you like more but that would sound childish. 

“I have to talk to Yuya again.”

Great. 

We reached her building entrance and she turned to say goodbye to me. “Don't let me take all the blame for this, please,” she pleaded.

“I don’t want to do that, I’m sorry.” I trapped a sigh in my chest. If this was a more romantic moment, I thought again about leaning in to kiss her, if she let me. At least it seemed Yuya hadn’t done that, or else his intentions would have been more clear to her. 

“Thanks for walking me.” She offered me a small smile that made my belly warm. 

“Anytime,” I answered. “See you tomorrow.”

I turned away, once again thinking about Yuya and our past, and that I was in too deep now to reveal the truth to Gabbie. If I did, she would surely hate ‌both of us. And I was ashamed. 

 

Chapter Five

 

I woke early the next morning to my phone playing an urgent jingle. Two seconds later, my bed was rocking gently like a boat on the sea. It might have lulled me back to sleep but the rocking increased to a shaking, almost vibration. I cursed under my breath as I shot out of bed and sprinted to the door. My dad was doing the same from my parents' room, and he pounded down the stairs after me. 

Mom was already up and holding rattling dishes on their shelves.

“Take cover,” my father insisted, going to her and trying to pry her hands away. She settled for taking down her favourite family heirloom dishes and setting them on the floor as the shaking increased.

I knelt down, with my hands gripping the kitchen countertop, and watched with a sense of unreality as the quaking went on. Holding my breath and waiting for the house to fall. This wasn’t our first time, not even close, but each time we waited with bated breath until the quake proved not to be the final big one. The light ‌in the kitchen flickered then the shaking slowed to a stop. 

My parents hugged each other and I joined them, making it a group hug. We’d been spared again. It wasn’t the big one but big enough. 

“You can go back to bed,” Mom said to me.

“I’m awake now, I’ll stay up.” I took a deep breath, trying to slow my heart. My body ached like I’d just recovered from a major fall on the soccer field. “The rudest way ever to be woken up.” 

Everyone was bleary-eyed at work that day from interrupted sleep. My parents and I had watched the news that morning, and scientists warned that the morning quake was likely a precursor to a bigger one that could happen in the next forty-eight hours. A smaller quake occurred when I was in the middle of class. Following a couple of errant shrieks, everyone fell silent and listened to the room vibrate until it stopped.

I left class to pick Gabbie up for a walk home, as it was prime time to talk alone with her. But when I found her, her face was haunted.

“Are you all right?” I asked as soon as we were outside Motto. 

She shook her head. “I can’t stop thinking about it, the panic I felt this morning.”

“I know, it’s a terrible feeling,” I said. “Being woken up like that.”

“Victor said there’s an even bigger one coming?”

“Yep, there’s usually more than one. They come in clusters.”

“You’re way too calm about this,” she huffed.

I shrugged. “It’s part of life here. Aren’t there natural disasters in New Mexico?”

“Mostly wildfires, but they’ve never been in my bedroom. The earthquake felt so… widespread, like the whole country was shaking. There’s nowhere to run to even if I could run away.” 

“You know, we have an alarm system that goes off a few minutes before a big one. And buildings here are made to withstand the quakes.” 

“I know,” she agreed slowly, then looked up at me. “I’m afraid of the bigger one coming. Waking up to that alone, it was horrible.”

“Want me to stay with you?” 

She looked at me, silently pleading.

“Come on, are you hungry?"

She half shrugged. “Kinda.” 

"Let’s get dinner.” I dragged her by the arm down a side street to a Family Mart convenience store. She didn’t look around with any interest once inside, though. 

“I’ll get two of what I want, okay?” I said and grabbed two containers of katsu curry. I paid at the cash register, carried the bag out and we exited back to the street her apartment was on. 

She still hadn’t responded to me, listless. I tapped her hand with mine, inviting her to hold it if she wanted to. No response so I knocked her hand again and she flexed her fingers open. I grabbed her hand and pulled it to my side, squeezing it.

“Come on,” I said again. “Everything is going to be okay. I’m here.”

She squeezed my hand back tentatively.

I followed her up to the sixth floor of her building on foot as there was no elevator. She unlocked her apartment door and let me inside. Immediately, her concentrated scent hit me as I removed my sneakers in the genkan. She and her apartment smelled like a bakery mixed with the scent of clean laundry, which was disrupted as soon as I opened our katsu curry. They were already hot as the convenience store employee had microwaved them for us. We sat at her tiny table, Gabbie still looking upset and uninterested. 

“Starving is going to make you feel worse,” I chided as I scooted my chair over to her. I snapped apart a set of chopsticks and pinched up a bite-sized piece of the katsu with rice then turned her chin in my free hand. My touch made her snort and she obediently took the bite of dinner I held out to her. After she finished chewing she wiped her face resignedly with the back of her hand then took her set of chopsticks from me to continue eating. 

I dug into my own katsu once it was clear she would continue eating. 

“So, did you talk to Yuya again?”

Gabbie nodded solemnly. “He’s not happy that I went out with you.”

That caused a mix of emotions to boil in me. On one hand, I gloated that our time alone together had made Yuya jealous. On the other hand, it might drive him to pursue her even more. He hadn’t given up easily in the past.

“But you like me more than him anyway, right?” I asked, half-smiling.

“Well, actually, yes.” Gabbie glanced at me shyly. 

My heart thudded. I hadn’t expected her to answer sincerely. Heat rose from my collar. I cleared my throat.

A blush pinked her cheeks. “So is this date number two?”

“Only if you want it to be.” I put my chopsticks in my now-empty takeout container. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, though. I can take you out on a proper date after this.”

Her blush deepened. “Sounds nice.”

“Do you feel better now?”

“Mhmm.” She closed her takeout container and turned in her seat to fully face me. 

The apartment was quiet, and it dawned on me that my fantasy was coming into reality. I was alone with Gabbie, truly alone in private. We gazed at each other for a drawn-out moment, and I hoped desperately there was no sauce on my face.

If I had game, I could have leaned in to kiss her but it still seemed too early. 

“So um was class okay today?” I gathered up the garbage and shoved it into the bag, standing, and feeling slightly lightheaded. The floor tilted.

“It’s— ” Gabbie cut herself off at the same time I realized it was another quake. She shot up from her seat in a panic. 

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her under the table, ensuring both our heads were covered.

As the shaking subsided, we stood back up, Gabbie still close to me. She looked up at me, close to tears but not letting them fall. 

“Come here.” I opened my arms, inviting her in for an embrace. 

She stepped into it and I tucked her head under my chin, my other arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. The ground rumbled again. Gabbie groaned into my chest, so I squeezed her a bit more tightly.

“We’re okay.”

That quake was much smaller, but being up high in the apartment building probably made it feel worse than it was. Once it subsided, she stepped back from my arms, gazing up at me with eyes shining. Again, I really wanted to kiss her, but the timing was completely inappropriate.

“Let’s try and relax,” I suggested. “What’s your comfort movie?”

She chuckled. "Don't make fun of me, but Major League is one of my favourites.”

My eyes bugged out. “Why would I make fun of you? I love that movie.”

Her face lit up. “You do?”

“One of the best, I swear. I love 80's movies.”

“We had the VHS tape when I was little. I used to watch it every day after school.”

She threw herself onto the sofa and picked up the remote. I sat more carefully next to her, keeping a respectful yet still close gap between us. She shut off the living room light with another remote. Once the movie was playing, Gabbie leaned to her left with her head resting on my shoulder. I leaned against her too, trying to give her support though my heart raced for a moment at her touch. I hoped another aftershock wouldn’t startle her away. 

I woke up some time later to a noise from the television, Gabbie’s hair tickling my cheek. I wasn’t sure if the same noise or my sudden movement woke her up, but she groggily lifted her head. 

“We fell asleep,” I murmured stupidly. 

“Yeah.” Gabbie rubbed her eye. 

She was so warm against me, like a weighted blanket. To my surprise her gaze was trained on my lips. Was she thinking of kissing me too? I clamped my jaw shut so I wouldn’t say anything stupid and ducked my head slightly. She moved in, her lips glancing off mine, as if judging the distance, then coming back to fully press against my mouth. I felt the hard metal of her braces behind her lips and her breasts squishing against my chest. A hot thrill shot through me, starting from my mouth straight down to my groin. She was kissing me more, pushing me down against the sofa. I moved my arm from where it had lain across her shoulders so I could cup the back of her head, my other hand finding its way down her hip. The kiss deepened, and her sharp braces on my tongue shocked me. I had never kissed someone with braces before. Some Western girls could be more forward than what I was used to, I knew from my year in Canada, but damn!

She pulled away suddenly. “Okay, that’s enough. Watch the movie.” 

“Okay,” I said obediently, grinning like a fool.

She was half-lying next to me, half-on me at that point and rested her head on my chest. We fell asleep again like that, waking later to the menu on the TV, the movie long over. Gabbie peeled herself from our slightly sticky embrace, taking my hands with her.

“Come on, let’s go sleep in my bed,” she said.

“Are you sure? I can stay on the couch if you want.”

“You're very cute but stop playing dumb, please.” She yanked harder on my hands and I followed her without further protest. 

The apartment only had one bedroom, and it wasn’t hard to follow her there in the dark. She climbed into bed with her clothes on. Just sleeping for the rest of the night, I thought. I got into bed on the other side, overwhelmed by how good it smelled, and gathered her to me. Our lips shyly sought each other out, delicately aware of what was smouldering between us. She gently pushed me back again, and I drifted off eventually, waking later while it was still dark. A contentment settled on me when I realized where I was and who was in my arms. I bent my neck to kiss her head, but she stirred and turned to catch my lips. The way she arched her back against me and twisted her neck was unbearably erotic.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” I muttered, kissing her hair chastely. I squeezed her a little closer to me, though I wanted to do much, much more. Simultaneously mortified and proud of the hardened state I was maintaining seemingly all night. 

This happened at least one more time before morning—we’d wake from shallow sleep to kiss slowly and sleepily. Morning broke on my utter happiness, promising to be a sunny, warm day. I watched Gabbie reluctantly wake up and punch the alarm off on her phone. She snaked her closest arm under me and circled it under my head to lace her fingers in my hair. I closed my eyes again and leaned into her.

“Sorry if I stink,” I muttered. I felt kind of disgusted that I hadn’t bathed last night and slept in my clothes.

“You don’t stink, trust me. I wouldn’t be this close to you if you did.” She rubbed my scalp one last time before hoisting herself out of bed.

I groaned. 

“Won't you walk with me to work?” she prompted.

“I’d be upset if you didn’t let me.”

We each took a turn washing up in the bathroom. I had no choice but to wear the same clothes from the day before. The walk of shame, they’d called it in Toronto. We have various similar phrases in Japanese, and I hoped Victor wouldn't notice when I showed up rumpled and swollen-lipped and give me a hard time. 

As we left her apartment, Gabbie grasped my hand tightly before we descended the exterior stairs, interweaving our fingers. I hardly felt the concrete beneath my feet, my head filling with plans. Gabbie and I would have a romantic summer, falling in love and working together. In a few years, we’d get married and have kids and she’d be the best teacher and mother ever. 

“Do you want to go to the ocean with me this summer?” I asked.

She squinted slightly in the morning sun. “I would love that. I’ve never swum in the ocean.”

Just as her foot touched down from the last stair to the asphalt, I felt it. A deep rumbling below our feet.

“Oh no,” Gabbie said, feeling it too. 

The rumbling increased and a siren sounded in the distance. The warning for a large quake. Both our phones began blaring the emergency warning with a recording of a polite woman’s voice calmly stating “There is an earthquake” repeatedly in Japanese. We still held hands so I drew Gabbie closer to me. I pulled her under the stair overhang with me.

“God,” she begged, her voice climbing louder than the sound of grating brick and concrete. 

I pulled her close to me, wrapping my arm around her back, my hand around her head, willing the shaking to stop. Instead, it ratcheted up again, the blue building wall vibrating until it appeared to ripple like a wave rolling across the ocean. I squeezed my eyes shut, then forced myself to open them. Had to be vigilant and protect Gabbie. 

The building across the street was rippling like liquid too, clay tiles cascaded from its roof and smashed on the ground. She jumped at each crash. Car alarms were going off.

Finally, it came to a stop. The siren was silenced. Other than the car alarms, the only sound was the trickling of dust coming from the overhang. A few people tripped out of nearby houses to survey the damage. 

I peeled Gabbie slowly off ‌my chest to look her over. She was stiff. All colour had drained from her face. 

“We’re okay,” I murmured, still holding her by the shoulders, worrying she might faint if I let go. She didn’t respond. I began to steer her back toward the stairs. “Let's go back to your place. You should call in sick today.” 

“No,” she croaked faintly. “What if there are more aftershocks?”

I halted. That likely would happen. Large quakes were usually followed by hundreds of diminishing, smaller quakes, most of which we wouldn’t even feel. But some would still be big enough to shake buildings and it wouldn’t be a good day. I remembered her words from the night before: I don’t want to be alone. So I sat on the second-to-last stair and pulled her hand to join me.

“Let's rest here for a few minutes then.”

She slowly bent at the waist, as if rusted to the spot. Once she was finally next to me, I swung my arm around her and pulled her to my side, using my other hand to grasp hers. We sat like that for a moment until something crashed to the ground a short distance away, likely another piece of someone’s roof, making Gabbie jump. I didn’t take too much notice of the whirring of a bicycle approaching us at first until it stopped.

“Huh,” a low voice muttered. 

Both our heads snapped up. 

“Yuya,” Gabbie said. “What are you doing here?”

“I see why you weren’t replying to my messages.” His eyes ran over my arm, still around Gabbie. “I came to make sure you’re all right.”

The realization that Yuya knew where Gabbie lived made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. “We’re fine here.”

Yuya swung off his bike, letting it drop to the ground. “I wasn’t asking about you.”

I jumped up from my seat, causing a whimper from Gabbie as I ripped my hold from her. 

“You led me on,” Yuya grated out, gesturing at her. 

“You haven’t even been coming to class lately,” she retorted.

“I didn’t even want to go to your stupid class, I just wanted to ask you out.” 

I stepped closer to him. “Don’t talk to her like that. This shit is so basic and stupid. We’re adults now. I’m leaving you alone so drop it.”

Yuya stared at me, his face turned into a sneer. “Oh yeah,” he said in English. “Did Tobio tell you we know each other? Since we were kids.”

“Don’t.” My voice was hardly above a whisper. 

“What?” Gabbie demanded.

“I was going to tell you, but you didn’t give me the chance,” Yuya said.

“Stop,” I pleaded. My blood was turning into antifreeze.

“This guy did everything he could to ruin my life growing up. And he’s still doing it now. The only reason he asked you out was because he knew I got your number first.”

“That isn’t true.” My voice rose to a growl. “That was you.” 

I couldn’t bring myself to look at Gabbie, but I could feel her gaze swivelling between the two of us.

“What the hell is going on?”

“I’m really sorry,” I began. “I should have told you right away. But I wanted you to like me.” 

Gabbie’s face had turned into a scowl and Yuya scoffed.

“Who would like you if they knew the truth about you, idiot?” he said. 

“It's true, I was cruel to Yuya in grade school when we fought over a girl,” I admitted.

“There was more than one, at least one every year. Don’t act like you forgot,” Yuya cut in.

“Why would you hide this from me? Both of you did. You can’t tell the truth, even now?” Gabbie’s face looked about to crack. She didn’t have to say the rest she was thinking; I could see it plainly. She couldn’t believe we’d just spent the night together and now her trust in me was completely broken. I wasn’t the same person in her eyes that I was a few moments ago. 

The earth began to rumble once again, I nearly lost my footing. In my periphery, Yuya shuffled to take shelter under the overhang of the next building. I moved to protect Gabbie like I’d done before but she screamed, “Don’t!”

The aftershock was small and didn't last long. As soon as it was over, Yuya threw us one last look, went for his bike and took off, likely to seek shelter somewhere indoors.

I turned toward Gabbie, but she was stumbling up the steps to her apartment, a sob trailing after her. 

A few seconds passed, dithering there alone, until I decided to rush up the stairs. I knocked on her door politely, tried the locked handle to no avail.

“Gabbie,” I tried to project through the door loudly enough that she would hear me but not disturb any neighbours who might still be home. “Can we talk? Please.”

She didn’t answer me or unlock the door. I tried knocking a couple more times, then texting and calling her. According to the time on my phone, I should be at work right about now. 

“I’m gonna go,” I called through the door, “but I want to talk whenever you’re ready.”

I didn’t hurry down the road toward Motto English School, hoping Gabbie might catch up to me. And fantasizing that I might come across Yuya along the way and take the opportunity to knock him off his bike. But neither showed, and I could use the quake as my excuse to be late. The front door of the school was unlocked, and I found Victor and Sandy upstairs in his office. 

“Business as usual today?” I asked as I strode in, pretending to be much more confident and relaxed than I actually felt. 

Victor held up his phone then put it down with a little too much force. “Gabs just sent me her resignation.”

“What?” I stopped dead. The antifreeze was back. “Did she say why?”

“The quake scared her.” Victor leaned back in his chair and looked at Sandy. “It’s so damn hard to hold on to some of these expats. They can’t cut it here or they get too homesick. I don’t know if we should take another chance."

The rest of their conversation blurred in my ears. This was all my fault, but it sounded like Gabbie hadn’t revealed that to Victor. I left the office without a word, closed myself in a classroom, and stared at my phone for a long while. Another mini quake rattled the building then died off. A few adult students wandered in to see if lessons were on. None of the grade school-aged students were likely to show today, as I saw on the news in my phone that they had the day off again from public school. I was trying to work on lesson plans but it was hard to concentrate. My empty stomach gnawed at me but I couldn’t bring myself to get up and find lunch. I deserved to go hungry today. 

“Victor already told you, I guess.” Her voice came from the doorway. 

My head snapped up. Gabbie stood at the open door, her eyes rimmed in red.

“Did he convince you to come in?” My voice betrayed my shock at her appearance.

She nodded once. “I’m going home in two weeks. I already booked the flight, so you can’t try to change my mind.”

“Will you please let me explain?” 

“I talked to Yuya a bit more before I came to work,” she said, and my mouth gaped open. “I don’t think I need to hear anymore.”

“That isn’t fair.” I sounded like a child. 

“Yeah,” she muttered sardonically, scratched her nose and sniffled. “I don’t really want to talk to you but—guess I’ll see ya around.”

I was too stunned to chase after her. A while later, I went to her classroom, but she had locked the door. I didn’t want to draw attention to the situation, so I refrained from knocking. 

She was cold to me for the next two weeks. If we ran into each other in front of our coworkers, we were both scarily good at acting like everything was fine. My many texts and calls to her after work continued to go unanswered. My parents could tell something was wrong, but I couldn’t reveal the truth to them. I had never told them much about my troubles with Yuya, so instead I claimed I was a little stressed since the earthquake. That was at least partially true. 

On Gabbie’s last day at work, my stomach and chest were tight. I had hardly slept the night before. I needed to make her see how sorry I really was before she left for the US. I didn’t want this to be the last time I ever saw her, it couldn’t be. But work was especially busy and I didn’t get a chance to find her. At the end of the evening, I speed-walked to Victor's office to see if she was there.

“Do you know where Gabbie is?” I asked.

“She didn’t say goodbye to you? She left early to catch her flight.” Victor gave me a concerned look. 

I sprinted to the stairs, not caring how that made me look to him or anyone else, and ran in my indoor shoes to Gabbie’s building. I nearly skinned my knees launching myself up the concrete stairs to her apartment. 

I pounded on her door. “Gabbie, please! Gabbie!”

A neighbouring apartment door clicked open. A middle-aged person poked their head out. “That girl moved out today, I don’t think she’s home.” 

“I see, thank you,” I answered, struggling to catch my breath. 

I waited there for a moment, hoping it wasn’t true and Gabbie would appear. The neighbour shut their door again and locked it firmly, clearly annoyed by the ruckus. No noise came from Gabbie’s apartment. Her door remained lifeless. I thought about hurrying to the airport to try and catch her like a horrible romance movie, but she hadn’t even told me if she was flying out of Osaka or Tokyo. I pictured her standing at the gate in my favourite outfit, her back to me. 

She hadn’t even said goodbye.

To read the next installment of the story, click here